I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
