Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
