Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
