Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
