Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
barbara walters just said penis...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
