...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
