am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
