i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
