You work out of a Hotel?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
