My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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