Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
