After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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