Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
