Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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