Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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