I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
