No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
