First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
