we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
