Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
