Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
