is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
