Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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