something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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