I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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