I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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