What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
