It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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