I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
