have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
