So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
