I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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