look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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