theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
