I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
