It's Friday. Sex?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think I sprained my soul last night
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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