BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
