There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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