Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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