so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
