So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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