to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Swine flu is the new snow day.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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