sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
