Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
