i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
