I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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