I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
