I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
