hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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