basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
