I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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