My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
