Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
