i just google imaged poop.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
